My dear friend Rob, I miss you



Home Alone

I am recently home from a week stay in the hospital.  I needed some adjustment on my medicine and I was pretty sick. After I got on the correct medicine I felt better and wanted to go home.

I looked like a completely different person from the one who checked into the hospital on the day I left. I was laughing and even joking a bit. I was glad to go home. My doctor said he wanted me to stay a bit longer but he knew I would follow up with my regular doctor so I was allowed to leave.

This is my fifth day home. Nothing has changed really on the outside. People still are who they are. I find I am having a difficult time dealing with some things. I can feel the sadness right behind my eyes, waiting to spill over. But I can also feel myself holding it back with all my skills I have learned. 

I am still lonely sometimes. People are at work or busy and don’t have time to talk with me. This is life, toots. 

I go back to my doctor today. Maybe he will tweak the meds. If not, I need to work on my coping skills even more than I have been. I need a thicker shield. Personally, I hope he can tweak the meds. 

Either way, life goes on. 

Random Mother’s Day thoughts

Every Saturday afternoons on MeTv the station plays Westerns. I call them Oaters. I guess no one calls them that anymore. Or ever. No one seems to remember the term. My parents used it. Anyway. MeTv shows Oaters on Saturday. My husband and I find ourselves watching them most Saturdays.

My favorite is Wagon Train. Every week Colonel Adams and the wagon train face some trouble and they have to find the moral and ethical way to handle the issue and get back on their way to California. The afternoon episodes of Wagon Train are the older Black & White ones. Later in the evening the newer shows are on. These are in color and the Train is led by Mr. Chris. Both shows feature Charlie the cook. He’s my favorite!

MeTv has also started showing the old B & W episodes of Gunsmoke. These have been very good. I saw the very first episode. I love Festus Haggen. At first he was a wolfer or a wolf trapper living on the outskirts of Dodge to eventually become Matt Dillon’s deputy. The way Festus bling-blangin’ golly bill talks, you’d think Matthew would have a talk with him.

How about Bonanza? The Big Valley? Big lovable Hoss and Little Joe are always getting in and out of trouble, much to the chagrin of Papa Lorne Greene. I also now know how Heath came to the Barkley family on Big Valley. I always wondered why the credits at the beginning always gave every other member of the family their last name, but not Heath.

The show that surprised me the most that I enjoy is the Rifleman. I don’t like guns. At all. This show starts out with the Rifleman shooting Pow pow pow pow pow. It’s a show about a father raising his son the best he can. It’s really a great show. The Rifleman only shoots as a last resort and only to kill if absolutely necessary. Nice little half hour show.

Anyway, I wonder why I am writing about these Westerns on Mother’s Day. I never let my children play with any kind of gun. My brothers and I weren’t allowed either. I’m not saying they didn’t play with them at friend’s houses, I’m sure they did, I’m not THAT dumb.

I like these Westerns, these Oaters, now. Some days when I get lonely I turn them on and laugh with Festus and wonder how Audra’s going to get out of this mess this week. It’s just something I never thought I would enjoy.





50 Little Things

I am taking the advice of Mer and doing a list today for fun. Might be harder than I think. I am going to attempt to list 50 little things about me. I know many of these may be things already known, but let’s see if I can find some new ones.

  1. I like Yoko Ono.
  2. Today is my husband’s birthday.
  3. I am studying Spanish on the Duolingo app.
  4. I have a banjo.
  5. I own a scooter I am going to ride as soon as it’s fixed.
  6. I know how to solder.
  7. I like Eminem.
  8. I live around the block from my childhood home.
  9. I collect old phones and radios.
  10. I do not like Journey.
  11. I am an amateur radio operator, licensed for 20 years.
  12. I am a Dudeist Priestess able to perform weddings, funerals, etc. 
  13. I love Shakespeare plays.
  14. I love almost all vegetables.
  15. I like to follow Cleveland baseball.
  16. Surprisingly, I like tv shows such as: Wagon Train, The Rifleman, and Gunsmoke.
  17. I am distantly related to Dave Mustaine of Megadeth.
  18. I like Metallica
  19. There is a picture of me wearing a dashiki in my high school year book. I  love colorful clothes.
  20. I used to be on a golf league. I LOVED it. I was a terrible player, but really enjoyed playing. 
  21. I was arrested at 18 for disorderly conduct. The police had to wake me up to arrest me…..
  22. I had my first child when I was 19. He is going to be 34 this year and is a great person. 
  23. My husband says I can’t whistle, but I can.  A little. Badly. For a very short time. hahahaha
  24. I have seen Weird Al in concert almost every year since 1996.
  25. I taught Sunday school in the early 90s.
  26. I like square dancing even though I never do it anymore. Since junior high.
  27. I was a competitive swimmer for 6 years.
  28. OMG How is it not on the top of the list?? I LOVE THE BEATLES! I was in discussion about Yoko today so she was on my mind first. But the BEATLES are IT.
  29. I  LOVE Frank Zappa. He is fantastic. I hadn’t felt love for a musician like this since the Beatles. The Beatles are always first, but then FRANK.
  30. I am a HUGE Harry Potter fan. I have all the clothes to dress up, three wands, of course all the books, regular and large print for when I am older. Anything I can get my hands on Harry Potter makes me happy.
  31. I have three brothers, one a year and a half older than I, one a year and a half younger and one seven years younger.
  32. I stopped smoking 2 years ago this May on my birthday. 
  33. I didn’t care for the movie The Revenant.
  34. I am very afraid of spiders. They can just go to hell. Or away from me. Either one is okay.
  35. I like to fish.
  36. I love to read. Duh
  37. I can change a tire.
  38. I am almost 53 years old and I do not dye my hair. I have a little gray hair but I earned it. I am not going to dye it. It’s short anyway. 
  39. I have been to Alaska.
  40. I do not carry a purse. I haven’t since 1994.
  41. We have a clock in every room, including the bathroom. Do you guys, too?
  42. We use 24 hour time on our digital clocks. 
  43. I do not like bananas.
  44. I love donuts, but don’t eat them because I can’t stop. 
  45. I like to crochet, knit, and cross stitch.
  46. I do not smoke crack.
  47. I watch MeTv with my husband almost every night after he gets home from work.
  48. I like sparkly stuff.
  49. I have the ashes of my last two kitties on my coffee table.
  50. I think this was a fun post for me. Thanks Mer!

Winter Snow

The winter snow is here. Yay. Not. I know everyone, well, not everyone, says it’s beautiful. I can see beautiful in a painting of a snowy scene or on television thank you. I have never been a big winter fan.

I have to go out today so I especially dislike the snow. It covers my car. You know, the car I have to use to get to the dentist. I had an appointment last week before the snow got here, but I had a flat tire and had to reschedule to today.  


I don’t mind driving in the snow. I don’t even mind going to the dentist. I do mind cleaning off my car. It takes a lot of reaching and brushing and scraping. With fibromyalgia and a very bad shoulder it can be torture. I also often slip on the ice fall on my ass and some swearing might ensue. Today I am hoping the sun melts a bit of the snow off, but it’s probably a bit cold for that to happen, but a person can dream!

I looked for a picture of a sunny, snowy day in Cleveland, but those are scarce.  Most winter days here are just gray.

My husband helps me with a lot in life, but he can’t help with everything. He doesn’t have time. He has to work. He has other things he needs to take care of. I have to start caring more for myself. We have to be practical. My husband can’t do everything.

So for the first time this winter I will go out and clean off my car. The snow is only an inch thick so it’s not too bad.  The temperature is up to 32 degrees from 17 yesterday.  There doesn’t seem to be much wind. This will be the easy one. Let’s just see how it is in February! 

Oh damn. I forgot I didn’t buy boots this year. Glad the snow is not very deep. I will be fine. I have fibro. I know how to be tough and withstand all kinds of things. I have to.  



C is the first letter in all the names of my siblings, parents and me: Chuck, Chris, Curt, Charles, Colleen and Cheryl

Reading is one of my favorite ways to spend time.

It’s fun to try new things.

My new kitten, Harrison, sure makes me happy.

Seen some crazy things in my time.

Oh man, the cold weather is here to stay for awhile. 

Not a fan of Journey

Oy, I don’t like them.

Why did I mention them?

Let’s change the subject.

6 years ago many people said two thousand nine. Now many people say twenty fifteen. Two thousand fifteen sounds awkward to me.

times married is the charm. This time I have the right guy!