I was supposed to go to a friend’s house today. I slept in so long that by the time I called to see about going over, my friend was napping. I am secretly happy. I might not have to go now. I don’t want to leave my house. I want to stay home. A chronic issue these days.
I love my friend, but it is sometimes difficult visiting. She tries to understand what I am going through. She has some of the same issues, but doesn’t have a psychiatrist or counselor. She thinks she is coping fine, so why am I still struggling? She thinks I have it easy with all my doctors.
My friend can’t come to my house because she is very sight impaired and can’t drive. I need to go there if I want to see her. This isn’t always easy for me to do. I am so much a home body these days.
We have been friends for 45 years. I don’t remember NOT knowing her. We grew up together, our kids grew up together. We are more like sisters. I don’t have any sisters so she is the closest thing I know to having one. She is a nice person, but protects herself by being a hard ass. She can be very intimidating. I shouldn’t be afraid of her, but at times I am.
I feel bad for wanting to get out of our visit. I do love her, I just don’t want to go today. I should be able to tell her I am not up to it, but she rarely accepts this. Besides, I made plans, I should follow through.
If she calls back and still wants me to come over I will probably go. But for now….I can stay home in my safe house.